It took four years and thousands of dollars to have our second child… so you can understand why I literally burst out laughing when my midwife asked which birth control method my husband and I would be using. She says the best cure for infertility is having a baby. I say the best birth control is having a 6 year old and a baby–who has the energy for sex??
Part of me would love to take my chances. What better news could a fertility-challenged woman get than to discover she’s pregnant again? My husband says, “win the lottery and we can have as many babies as you want.” I was lucky he agreed to try for another, he secretly always wanted to be an only child and was pretty content having an only child. Then there is the fact that I just turned 40. Yes, lots of women are having babies in their 40s but just because maybe I can, doesn’t mean I should. Mentally, I feel 22… but physically, I’m definitely NOT 22 anymore. I do the math and already don’t like the numbers when I calculate how old I might be before I have grandchildren. Life is pretty uncertain for all of us, but there are disadvantages to having kids later in life. There is no free lunch, but right now I have two healthy, beautiful kids, let’s not monkey with things. Not to mention that cute little babies turn into teenagers one day.
Two kids has always been my goal. I joked during the embryo transfer that the only way I’d be having more is if more than one (of the four implanted) embryo takes. Well, only one took. And I was actually relieved that no other embryos survived to be frozen which meant I wouldn’t have to make a decision about their future. So why the pangs of sadness that I’m done with this chapter of my life even though the universe is telling me to quit while I’m ahead? The movie Raising Arizona comes to mind–and the line “Dot says this one’s too big to cuddle.” I have a 6 year old who is becoming more independent every day–definitely not as cuddly as he was–and now this new, amazing snuggle buddy. When Teague is “too big to cuddle”, I’m going to have to volunteer a lot more time in the church nursery.
So I suppose we will be looking into our options for permanent birth control. My husband is willing to have a vasectomy, and frankly, I think it’s his turn to take one for the proverbial “team”. I have to say though, that even after winning the battle with infertility–I still get ever so slightly green with envy when I hear someone I know is pregnant. Few make it out of a battle completely unscathed. Still, I am blessed beyond words and consider my family complete.
To learn more about infertility and your options, listen to PregTASTIC’s Infertility Series, Part One and Part Two.